Loving You is Complicated

a self indulgent tale of self hatred

What you mad for this time?

What did the government do this time?

What would you do if you were president? Who the fuck are you kidding, can’t even pull your head out of your own ass

What did the trust fund babies do this time?

They steal your money, your house, your livelihood too?

Bullshit, you just want someone to blame for being half alive

I know you, I know you don’t sleep, I know the last time you did something decent and how that’s so long ago

You ain’t a leader, you a poser.

How would you feel if every little skeleton you had up your closet you have to drag around.

How would you feel if everything you’re ashamed of oozes out of your body.

I hate you, I hope you die, you should have jumped back when you had the chance.

What you ever do for your momma?

Your sisters, your brother? can’t even buy them a decent meal every once in a while.

Saying you hate money? don’t joke around you fucking hypocrite, you’d dive your nose and wag your tail if I wave a bill at you

Friends you say?

What you ever do for them? Friends go both ways, not one constantly annoying the others

You lucky they don’t forget you yet, you lucky they still don’t know you yet

Talented? smart? good looks? who says?

Not 3 years ago they were calling you freak, disgusting, weirdo

Were they wrong though? They probably the most honest people you’ll ever meet

Working for the greater good?

Don’t lie to me, you just can’t stand being alone with your thoughts with nothing to do

You wanna be needed, you wanna be special.

Let me fucking tell you that chumps like you come a dime a dozen.

I can list off a hundred other names twice the talent you think you are.

What is it this time? another new vice?

It’s not even five minutes ago since you picked up the bottle.

You can look for it all you want but there’s nothing at the bottom of it

What are you trying to drown?

What are you talking about not fading?

Did you forget the times you hurl your stomach off?

The times you couldn’t say no to 6 more shots and ending up half dead on the floor right after?

All the panic attacks you’d get while smoking and you still roll another one?

I hate you, I hate that you’d fail a hundred times before even trying.

And if God himself ask me what’s the hardest thing to do in this life of mine

I’d say it’s loving you.

But I wouldn’t know what to do without you too.